Monday, November 19, 2012
Full of Words
Some people like to draw. Others like to play music or read. A few go out for a reckless drive. I prefer to write.
I have never been a very sporty, outdoorsy person. My strengths are artsy and intellectual - hence, my writing.
My writing - I'm not entirely sure how to explain it. It's something I've been working at for years, and at some point it stopped being a hobby and became a passion. Writing a story is like getting lost in another world - and the best part is, you get to create that world just the way you like it. When I write, I have a tendency not to notice anything that's going on around me, and I don't like being interrupted. I just want to finish that sentence, that paragraph, that chapter - whatever.
I get the best inspiration from my stories when I'm not actively trying to think of a plot. The very best original concepts come when I'm thinking about something else, and then my brain inevitably turns to the question: Oh, maybe I can adapt this to so-and-so and make it this-and-that - and that's when the story is born. After that, the ideas come. It takes a while, sometimes - because inspiration is not something you can order on demand - but my brain works in weird and wonderful ways. For example, my most creative, productive time is at night, from 10pm to 2am. And some of my best ideas pop into my head while I'm eating, falling asleep, or just walking around a mall. I can never tell what will trigger a good idea - it might be a TV show, a movie, an ordinary everyday happening that I see all the time but doesn't inspire me until I've got a story idea simmering in my head.
Currently my love is fanfiction. For those of you who don't know, fanfiction is a type of story where you take the characters and/or events of any pre-existing media - like TV, movies, books, or comics - and weave them into a plot of your own. Since you're using the property of others, you don't actually own the story - because you can't call it an original piece of yours when there's somebody else's characters in it - but it's an excellent way to practice writing, and it's just so fulfilling to make your own ideas come true. At present, I have 31 fanfiction stories published online (on a site specifically for fanfiction called FanFiction.net) under the pen name Peonywinx, and I have many more in the works.
I get an amazing sense of accomplishment when I finish a story, and it's the best feeling in the world to get positive feedback from other people about my stories. And sometimes reading through my archives is a nice way to pass the time - to read what I wrote before and appreciate the plotline, see how well it was written, and pinpoint what I have to improve. Writing doesn't always come easy - every writer I know has to occaisonally battle against writer's block or a blank mind, and I'm no different - but it's always enjoyable for me. I love writing stories and I would (and do) do it for free.
Like I said, other people draw, play music, read, or drive. I write.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Avery's Bucket List
Today, I am writing not about me, and not about anyone else in my family - today, I am writing about a little girl named Avery Lynn Canahuati. And for the first time in this blog's history, I wish people were reading this.
Avery is five months old and she's suffering from Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 1.
Many of you (whoever reads this) will not have heard about this disease before. I hadn't, before reading Avery's blog. But people should know about it, because SMA is the #1 killer of babies and toddlers under two years old. It attacks the muscles of its victims, leading to decreased mobility, difficulty in breathing and swallowing and other simple body functions, and eventually (and tragically), death. At the moment, there is no cure - but the more people who know about it, the more chance there is of there someday being a cure.
Avery is a remarkable little baby. She's a phoenix herself - no matter how many times her disease pulls her down, she always finds time to smile and get back up. She is continually reborn from her trials and difficulties, and I hope and pray she lives a fulfilling life. This is the link for her blog: http://averycan.blogspot.com. Please share her story with all your friends and give her family the support they need. In our own way, we can help Avery continue being a phoenix.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Yummy, Mummy!
My mom is a cooking genius. Seriously. It's like she can throw a bunch of things in the kitchen together and make a really delicious meal out of the odds and ends. I don't know how she does it - but the pasta I'm eating right now is an excellent testament to her phenomenal culinary skills. It's a simply creamy chicken pasta dish with mushrooms - but man, does it taste good! Seriously. It's like...assault of the tastebuds in a really, really good way.
I'm not so bad in the kitchen myself, but I am nowhere near the level my mother is. I do hope to get there one day, though - especially if it means I can whip up quick and easy-to-make meals that still taste heavenly, like this. Wouldn't that be the day?
I'm not so bad in the kitchen myself, but I am nowhere near the level my mother is. I do hope to get there one day, though - especially if it means I can whip up quick and easy-to-make meals that still taste heavenly, like this. Wouldn't that be the day?
Thursday, April 12, 2012
It's In The Rain
There's something peaceful about sitting in bed, wrapped up in blankets, listening to the steady patter of rain on a cold night. I don't know if it's the soothing slish-slosh nature sounds, or the coolness of temperature the rain brings with it, or just the wonderful feeling of being nice and warm and cosy in my bed. Whatever it is, it's so peaceful...it feels like all is right in the world, and it's a nice breather from the sometimes overwhelming hustle and bustle of everyday life.
When I think of rain, I think of little droplets of water showering blessings on Earth, rejuvenating and renewing everything it touches. I don't particularly like to get caught in it - unless I'm in a swimsuit, I don't exactly relish getting wet outside the confines of my bathroom shower - but I love to listen to it, and I love to watch the lightning flashes and hear the thunder rolling. A rainstorm is such magnificent evidence of the good Lord's almighty power.
Even rainstorms are of different types, have you noticed? You could get a light, ten-minute drizzle that just makes everything humid or a steady downpour that soaks everything without any flashy displays. Or you could have the full-blown thunderstorm, with howling winds ripping up trees and knocking things off tables, and blazing lightning flashes that light up the sky with bright silver-purple every ten seconds, and thunder roaring loud enough to make you think those old children's tales were true and there really are giants in the sky throwing pianos down the stairs.
But for me, the best type of rain is the one that's coming down outside my window now - the type that's moderate, not too light, not too heavy - the type that cools everything down with only occasional, small-scale flashes of lightning and soft thunder so muted it's practically a soothing rumble, like your pet cat's purr. I love that type of rain - it's my favorite because it's so calm and serene and comforting, and it reminds me that nature isn't always loud and flashy and brilliant.
Sometimes, it's the little things, the small things that gently make their presence known, that make for the best feelings.
When I think of rain, I think of little droplets of water showering blessings on Earth, rejuvenating and renewing everything it touches. I don't particularly like to get caught in it - unless I'm in a swimsuit, I don't exactly relish getting wet outside the confines of my bathroom shower - but I love to listen to it, and I love to watch the lightning flashes and hear the thunder rolling. A rainstorm is such magnificent evidence of the good Lord's almighty power.
Even rainstorms are of different types, have you noticed? You could get a light, ten-minute drizzle that just makes everything humid or a steady downpour that soaks everything without any flashy displays. Or you could have the full-blown thunderstorm, with howling winds ripping up trees and knocking things off tables, and blazing lightning flashes that light up the sky with bright silver-purple every ten seconds, and thunder roaring loud enough to make you think those old children's tales were true and there really are giants in the sky throwing pianos down the stairs.
But for me, the best type of rain is the one that's coming down outside my window now - the type that's moderate, not too light, not too heavy - the type that cools everything down with only occasional, small-scale flashes of lightning and soft thunder so muted it's practically a soothing rumble, like your pet cat's purr. I love that type of rain - it's my favorite because it's so calm and serene and comforting, and it reminds me that nature isn't always loud and flashy and brilliant.
Sometimes, it's the little things, the small things that gently make their presence known, that make for the best feelings.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
It's A Small, Small World
Today as I was coming back from Aikido class, I bumped into a friend of mine whom I'd only seen once, up to that point. I met her when we were both involved in a simulated patient exercise for medical students, and we just clicked. In those nine hours we spent together, we talked about school, university, hobbies, movies, TV...basically, we got to know each other quite well. And we made sure to trade Facebook and email before parting ways.
After that, I didn't see her again. But we still kept in touch - and then I bumped into her today. And we picked up right where we left off. It was the easiest thing in the world to make conversation - I can't speak for her, but I didn't even have to think about what to say.
It's funny, isn't it, how life sometimes works out? You meet someone new and have a great time, then you part ways and never see them again, only to bump into each other when you least expect it, and if the chemistry's there, you can talk as if you see each other everyday. I think that to find that kind of thing, that kind of connection - I think it's magic.
It's strange that you can get along better with someone you've only known for mere hours than you do with people who have been in your class for ten years. In fact, it's usually the snap connections that last - the few minutes you spend talking to someone new, if there's a connection to be made, it's made then. And if it's good, if the chemistry's good, then you can not see each other for months, sometimes years - and you can still meet up again and continue with a, "Hey, how's it going?" before launching into an animated conversation that's as easy as breathing. Of course, it doesn't happen with everyone you meet - it's sometimes difficult to find that in someone at all - but when you do, like I said, it's magic.
Whereas, you could go for years before getting to know - REALLY getting to know - somebody you've seen every week for years. Maybe it's because the connection isn't there, maybe because the circumstances aren't right yet, or maybe it's because this specific friendship is the type that takes a long time to establish. Whatever the case, I just think that the best friendships are those born from the first interaction. If you forge a connection then, you're in for something special, even if you end up not seeing each other for months after that. I actually am of the opinion that the prolonged separation only strengthens the friendship, because if the connection is still there even when you meet sporadically, then you know it's a relationship to be proud of.
After that, I didn't see her again. But we still kept in touch - and then I bumped into her today. And we picked up right where we left off. It was the easiest thing in the world to make conversation - I can't speak for her, but I didn't even have to think about what to say.
It's funny, isn't it, how life sometimes works out? You meet someone new and have a great time, then you part ways and never see them again, only to bump into each other when you least expect it, and if the chemistry's there, you can talk as if you see each other everyday. I think that to find that kind of thing, that kind of connection - I think it's magic.
It's strange that you can get along better with someone you've only known for mere hours than you do with people who have been in your class for ten years. In fact, it's usually the snap connections that last - the few minutes you spend talking to someone new, if there's a connection to be made, it's made then. And if it's good, if the chemistry's good, then you can not see each other for months, sometimes years - and you can still meet up again and continue with a, "Hey, how's it going?" before launching into an animated conversation that's as easy as breathing. Of course, it doesn't happen with everyone you meet - it's sometimes difficult to find that in someone at all - but when you do, like I said, it's magic.
Whereas, you could go for years before getting to know - REALLY getting to know - somebody you've seen every week for years. Maybe it's because the connection isn't there, maybe because the circumstances aren't right yet, or maybe it's because this specific friendship is the type that takes a long time to establish. Whatever the case, I just think that the best friendships are those born from the first interaction. If you forge a connection then, you're in for something special, even if you end up not seeing each other for months after that. I actually am of the opinion that the prolonged separation only strengthens the friendship, because if the connection is still there even when you meet sporadically, then you know it's a relationship to be proud of.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
I Am A Geek
Yes. Yes, I am. There's no shame in being a geek - I just like studying. So much so that I'll sometimes do extra if I have the time to.
To me, being a geek means having a very positive attitude towards one's studies. The typical stereotype is for a geek not to have any friends except other geeks, and to be excluded from activities besides studying. That is not the case with me. I am a geek, and yet, I am involved in a fair number of other activities, social or not.
I sincerely believe that being a geek is beneficial. It is much easier to learn properly and recall information if you are enthusiastic about studying. Yes, it's sometimes hard to cultivate this enthusiasm - especially if you're studying something like trigonometry (bleh!) - but with practice, I've found I can actually tell myself I like everything. In varying degrees, of course. This stimulates my brain and helps me study better, even for subjects I would normally detest (like trigonometry).
So, this girl? Proud to be a geek.
To me, being a geek means having a very positive attitude towards one's studies. The typical stereotype is for a geek not to have any friends except other geeks, and to be excluded from activities besides studying. That is not the case with me. I am a geek, and yet, I am involved in a fair number of other activities, social or not.
I sincerely believe that being a geek is beneficial. It is much easier to learn properly and recall information if you are enthusiastic about studying. Yes, it's sometimes hard to cultivate this enthusiasm - especially if you're studying something like trigonometry (bleh!) - but with practice, I've found I can actually tell myself I like everything. In varying degrees, of course. This stimulates my brain and helps me study better, even for subjects I would normally detest (like trigonometry).
So, this girl? Proud to be a geek.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
This is Why I Hate Trigonometry
When we get to a certain level in our education, we are introduced to the subject of trigonometry. I have just spent the last four hours on just a chapter of trigonometry in my Math book. Four hours! Now my brain is mentally drained, I'm grumpy, and weirdly enough, I also feel exhausted. I am so in need of some fun.
I'm sure trigonometry has many practical uses for those who have a head for the long, tedious calculations it involves - but not for me. I am more on the artsy, creative side - my brain was not wired for the convoluted properties of this branch of mathematics. I really don't understand how mathematicians and scientists can keep their head on straight to keep all the numbers and terms apart.
I'm sure trigonometry has many practical uses for those who have a head for the long, tedious calculations it involves - but not for me. I am more on the artsy, creative side - my brain was not wired for the convoluted properties of this branch of mathematics. I really don't understand how mathematicians and scientists can keep their head on straight to keep all the numbers and terms apart.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
The Thing About Teamwork
The thing about teamwork is, it's never easy. Anyone who tells you otherwise or who spouts stuff about "being able to work together effortlessly" is talking nonsense. Teamwork is NEVER easy. In fact, it's downright hard. We human beings are already an egotistical bunch as individuals - imagine taking three or four or more of those egos and throwing them in the same boat and telling them they have to get along without rocking the boat. They'd never make it.
Teamwork starts out easy. Most teams come into existence because a small group of people find that they work well together or they want to fulfill a certain project. But as time goes on, there will be fissures. People will disagree, fight, get sidetracked, lose commitment - it all happens occasionally. And then it's difficult to get the team working again because everyone's got an ego of some sort.
I have a team. I have several, as a matter of fact. One, however, has been giving me a lot of headache. We started out great, and we got something done...then we lost focus, commitment; we started arguing about things, then making up, only to argue again...and we're stubborn. Boy, are we stubborn. We each want our ideas in the project, and when the others object, we fight for our brainchildren. It's gotten so bad I fear for the group's future - or at least, my involvement in it.
The thing is, I try not to be too hardheaded. I know too much stubborness is detrimental to the team effort, so I really attempt to turn it down. But how do you know what's okay to give in to and what's important enough for you to fight doggedly for? That's the question - and it's damn tricky.
Lately, with this group, I've felt nothing but tiredness. Tiredness and despair. We fight, we make up, we avoid explosive issues, and then we fight again. And each time we repeat the process it's worse, and the team breaks a little more. So I initiated a last-ditch attempt to pull us out of the rut. I did my best to identify our problems and I told everyone in the group about it.
Unfortunately, now that makes me a hypocrite, because I've been just as remiss - if not more so than - the others in the group. Of everyone on the team, I've probably been the most negligent. But on the other hand, if I hadn't said anything and simply left it be for fear of being labeled a hypocrite, we might not fix this thing before it's too late. It's hard to explain. Yeah, I haven't been doing everything I preached to the others - but do I mean to do them in the future? Yes. I may be a hypocrite for saying what I said, but I'm a hypocrite who knows what she has to do to not be a hypocrite. I wish the others would be able to see that.
Teamwork starts out easy. Most teams come into existence because a small group of people find that they work well together or they want to fulfill a certain project. But as time goes on, there will be fissures. People will disagree, fight, get sidetracked, lose commitment - it all happens occasionally. And then it's difficult to get the team working again because everyone's got an ego of some sort.
I have a team. I have several, as a matter of fact. One, however, has been giving me a lot of headache. We started out great, and we got something done...then we lost focus, commitment; we started arguing about things, then making up, only to argue again...and we're stubborn. Boy, are we stubborn. We each want our ideas in the project, and when the others object, we fight for our brainchildren. It's gotten so bad I fear for the group's future - or at least, my involvement in it.
The thing is, I try not to be too hardheaded. I know too much stubborness is detrimental to the team effort, so I really attempt to turn it down. But how do you know what's okay to give in to and what's important enough for you to fight doggedly for? That's the question - and it's damn tricky.
Lately, with this group, I've felt nothing but tiredness. Tiredness and despair. We fight, we make up, we avoid explosive issues, and then we fight again. And each time we repeat the process it's worse, and the team breaks a little more. So I initiated a last-ditch attempt to pull us out of the rut. I did my best to identify our problems and I told everyone in the group about it.
Unfortunately, now that makes me a hypocrite, because I've been just as remiss - if not more so than - the others in the group. Of everyone on the team, I've probably been the most negligent. But on the other hand, if I hadn't said anything and simply left it be for fear of being labeled a hypocrite, we might not fix this thing before it's too late. It's hard to explain. Yeah, I haven't been doing everything I preached to the others - but do I mean to do them in the future? Yes. I may be a hypocrite for saying what I said, but I'm a hypocrite who knows what she has to do to not be a hypocrite. I wish the others would be able to see that.
Friday, March 30, 2012
To Be An Adult
Being the grown up is hard. It's so hard. It's hard because you have so many responsibilities, so many necessities to see to, and if anything goes wrong on your watch, even if it wasn't your fault, you get blamed for it. Because, unfortunately, life isn't fair, and whether you deserve it or not, you will encounter trouble.
When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was grow up. I used to think it would be so cool to be in charge, to be able to see the world as adults do, because adults had all the power. They could do what they wanted. When I got older, I realized that a kid's life is really the simplest of all. It may not be satisfying sometimes, and it can be downright frustrating to have to wait before you can do what you want to do because of age limits - but when you're a kid, you don't have to worry about anything. No one expects you to take responsibility, or to watch out for the younger ones, or take care of things at home. Kids get to have all the fun.
Now, at the ripe age of sixteen, I am nearly an adult. In many ways, I am. I have what it takes to lead, I have a job, I babysit, I'm responsible. But I'm also still a kid. I collect comic books. I watch superhero cartoons. I goof off and play. I like being a kid. But...there are some parts of being an adult that are great - like being independent enough to go out on your own, or having people respect your opinion because you're finally old enough to know what you're talking about.
Still, there are some days when all I want to do is be a ten-year-old again. It's the sad truth that no kid truly understands just how good they have it until they're not a kid anymore. Because no matter what anyone says to you, no matter how much they tell you that being an adult is not all golden, when you're a kid, you don't understand. You can't understand, because you don't know what adult life is like.
Being the oldest of a family of four contributes to my feeling stressed and worn out. My siblings and I, we're a wilful bunch - add that to the fact that the youngest is a very demanding two-year-old, and you have Frazzled Big Sister. Whenever my parents are out I automatically become the head of the house, and that means that everything that happens, I'm supposed to be aware of. Not only that - I'm supposed to be on top of it. But really, sometimes it gets to be too much. Like when my sister and brother fight over who gets the TV. Or when my brother insists "he knows" when I tell him to get his work done. Or when my sister is crying nonstop because she didn't get to go with Mum and Dad.
Other days, it seems like there's one thing after another, all piling up together to ensure I don't get any downtime. I know it's not really like that - it just feels like it is. If it's not a difficult chapter in the textbook, it's clearing the house, or arranging the books, or a meeting I have to go to...you get my drift. I lead a very busy life, and it can get hard to keep up with it all. Maybe I'm insane, but I like it that way.
Like I said, it's not easy. I'm not trying to shirk my responsibilities - I know that no matter how they rankle or how exhausting they are, I have to do them. But everyone needs a medium to let loose, you know? Otherwise the tension will literally kill you. Too much stress has a detrimental effect on your health.
I know I lead a more or less golden life at the moment. I tell myself that all the time. My life is so different - in a good way - from those of my friends. For starters, I don't spend six hours a day in school. I study at home and finish my allotted work within three or four hours at the most. My mom stays home and cooks everyday, and my dad works from eight to five only - and he even comes back for lunch. I live in a city I love, which is peaceful and quiet, where you can get anywhere within twenty minutes. My family is well off and we love each other. I'm lucky enough to have a job which earns me all the spending money I need. My life may not be perfect - really, whose is? - but it's a wonderful life. I'm well aware of that, and I thank God for it everyday. I never want to take it for granted.
Even so, I have a need to rant every once in a while. I need to be able to complain and unload all my negative emotions so I can continue being the happy, cheerful, bubbly, optimistic, and considerate soul I strive to be. I'm not one of those characters who are doom and gloom - but I am human, and like anybody else, I need to have a method to destress. That's why I have this blog.
When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was grow up. I used to think it would be so cool to be in charge, to be able to see the world as adults do, because adults had all the power. They could do what they wanted. When I got older, I realized that a kid's life is really the simplest of all. It may not be satisfying sometimes, and it can be downright frustrating to have to wait before you can do what you want to do because of age limits - but when you're a kid, you don't have to worry about anything. No one expects you to take responsibility, or to watch out for the younger ones, or take care of things at home. Kids get to have all the fun.
Now, at the ripe age of sixteen, I am nearly an adult. In many ways, I am. I have what it takes to lead, I have a job, I babysit, I'm responsible. But I'm also still a kid. I collect comic books. I watch superhero cartoons. I goof off and play. I like being a kid. But...there are some parts of being an adult that are great - like being independent enough to go out on your own, or having people respect your opinion because you're finally old enough to know what you're talking about.
Still, there are some days when all I want to do is be a ten-year-old again. It's the sad truth that no kid truly understands just how good they have it until they're not a kid anymore. Because no matter what anyone says to you, no matter how much they tell you that being an adult is not all golden, when you're a kid, you don't understand. You can't understand, because you don't know what adult life is like.
Being the oldest of a family of four contributes to my feeling stressed and worn out. My siblings and I, we're a wilful bunch - add that to the fact that the youngest is a very demanding two-year-old, and you have Frazzled Big Sister. Whenever my parents are out I automatically become the head of the house, and that means that everything that happens, I'm supposed to be aware of. Not only that - I'm supposed to be on top of it. But really, sometimes it gets to be too much. Like when my sister and brother fight over who gets the TV. Or when my brother insists "he knows" when I tell him to get his work done. Or when my sister is crying nonstop because she didn't get to go with Mum and Dad.
Other days, it seems like there's one thing after another, all piling up together to ensure I don't get any downtime. I know it's not really like that - it just feels like it is. If it's not a difficult chapter in the textbook, it's clearing the house, or arranging the books, or a meeting I have to go to...you get my drift. I lead a very busy life, and it can get hard to keep up with it all. Maybe I'm insane, but I like it that way.
Like I said, it's not easy. I'm not trying to shirk my responsibilities - I know that no matter how they rankle or how exhausting they are, I have to do them. But everyone needs a medium to let loose, you know? Otherwise the tension will literally kill you. Too much stress has a detrimental effect on your health.
I know I lead a more or less golden life at the moment. I tell myself that all the time. My life is so different - in a good way - from those of my friends. For starters, I don't spend six hours a day in school. I study at home and finish my allotted work within three or four hours at the most. My mom stays home and cooks everyday, and my dad works from eight to five only - and he even comes back for lunch. I live in a city I love, which is peaceful and quiet, where you can get anywhere within twenty minutes. My family is well off and we love each other. I'm lucky enough to have a job which earns me all the spending money I need. My life may not be perfect - really, whose is? - but it's a wonderful life. I'm well aware of that, and I thank God for it everyday. I never want to take it for granted.
Even so, I have a need to rant every once in a while. I need to be able to complain and unload all my negative emotions so I can continue being the happy, cheerful, bubbly, optimistic, and considerate soul I strive to be. I'm not one of those characters who are doom and gloom - but I am human, and like anybody else, I need to have a method to destress. That's why I have this blog.
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